I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
