now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
