You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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