Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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