I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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