I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
