you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize