This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
