Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
