So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
