It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Panties = found
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