Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
