i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
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It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
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It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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