Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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