OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
