Porn is love you can see.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
