so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
