So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
