it was like his penis was on wheels.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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