forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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