That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
