why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
