Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize