Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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