We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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