I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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