worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
