david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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