goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Can I color on your dick again?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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