One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
