It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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