my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize