my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
