I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He has the fingertips of a God
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