God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
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Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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