seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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