PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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