just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
