Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
