First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize