I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
