You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he puts the penis in happiness.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
