I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
