yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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