oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
