ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize