So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
