In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
