You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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