i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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