Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
