Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I feel like abortions should bother me more
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
