just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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