after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize