dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
