he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
