I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize