In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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