I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
In other news, I just burned my penis
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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