Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
