he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I love you.
Bad choice
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