You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize