ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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