so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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