There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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