New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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