Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
